Looking After the Pennies
Today I hit another rock bottom.
I didn’t allow myself to feel down as I’m always so busy.
I could not see my life going forward and improving.
I felt everyday’s a struggle.
I wanted out.
I started putting a fence around myself, I became a different person.
Hearing but not listening.
My mind racing: not having any thoughts, just one aim.
I didn’t want to eat or care for myself.
With the help of my Husband I eventually came around.
Nothing will take my happiness.
I think however hard we are working on being happy, filling our lives with the people we love, doing things that make us happy etc there will always be days or weeks were we think ‘screw this I can’t cope’ and that’s the nature of how life likes to change and make things interesting for us. It would be hard to constantly be in one state of mind. Having down moments can made the bright ones seem even better and brighter. They can also help give us perspective and a different outlook on things. I know for me there have certainly been times of darkness that have given me real insight into the way I function and have given me subsequent realisations of how to move onwards and upwards and change things around a bit.
Thank you for your kind words. Yes, that’s definately useful when you look back on your down days. We all need to let ourselves feel more but not dwell on those feelings. Once the habit is there it becomes easier to shrug off
That’s ok. As I say I know exactly how it feels to be at the very bottom and feel that there is no way of moving forward. I believe that for me personally that’s because I want things to much to quickly. However that’s one lesson that I’ve learned. It’s all about the learning and knowing how to deal with things in the future and know the triggers so that it doesn’t lead to a horrible situation that you can’t get out of.
Yes! I know one of my triggers is someone shouting at me. I’m lucky I have people around me that know about my depression and know what to say and what to do to pull me out of it ASAP. I wish others had more understanding people in their lives
Depression is a very real struggle. I wish people would realize just how debilitating it can be
I agree. I wanted to write this post for people to hopefully have a little idea of what it can be like (obviously those who have it already know what the struggle is like)
no words can help. only love and the comforting presence of our beloved. be strong and, yes, direct your feet to the sunny side of the street, even if it feels so difficult to walk.
Sorry for your struggle, I can’t say how you really feel. All I know is Depression or having a down day is very real. I have no answers. I had my down days when I was going through Cancer, but I was not diagnosed with Depression as such, well I never went to get that side of it checked anyway. I have written my blog, mainly as it gives hope and different way of looking at things etc. Check it out at your pace, no promises but wont hurt, https://uma197.wordpress.com/2016/05/30/27/
On another note, you write really well. “hearing but not listening” I can relate to that too
Looking After the Pennies 
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